The Rove/Bush/Pharmaceutical industry front organization, and AARP gnat, USANext’s official “National Chairman,” is none other than Art Linkletter.

Most people know of Linkletter as the original host of that goofy TV show that made comedy hay out of the cute responses kids gave to Art’s “probing” questions. Or, maybe, as the spokesman for Craftmatic adjustable beds.

But he was also a friend and confidante of former President, Richard Nixon. And recently released Nixon White House tapes provide us an example of how utterly bizarre Linkletter and Nixon were.

Here’s just a sampling.

“Art Linkletter: “There’s a great difference between alcohol and marijuana.”

Richard Nixon: “What is it?”

Linkletter: “The worst that you can have when you’re in with other alcoholics is more to drink, so you’ll throw up more and get sicker and be drunker.”

Nixon: “And that also is a great, great incentive, uh –”

Linkletter: “But when you are with druggers, you can go from marijuana to, say, heroin. Big difference.”

Nixon: “I see.”

Linkletter: “If, if, if you’re with a guy who suggests you have three more drinks than you should have, you’re just going to get sicker. But if you’re with a guy who you’re already high and he suggests you try, this instead of this, you can go much further.”

Then there’s this gem:

Linkletter: “Now, let me tell you one thing about marijuana you should know, that the word marijuana should never be used until you say, what kind of marijuana.”

Nixon: “Oh.”

Linkletter: “There is every grade. Now they say legalize marijuana or it isn’t bad. What marijuana isn’t bad? The mild stuff we grow in Wisconsin, or the stuff from Morocco? The twigs and the leaves, or the resin? The kind of person who uses it, is he psychologically sound or unsound? All these things make a difference. So you can never say marijuana, you’ve got to say, marijuana Acapulco, or marijuana from Mexico, or marijuana from Illinois.”

Jesus, what (excuse the pun) dopes.

Then, there’s this doozie of an exchange, which actually confirms one of the more controversial biographical details in Oliver Stone’s movie about Nixon:

Linkletter: “Another big difference between marijuana and alcohol is that when people smoke marijuana, they smoke it to get high. In every case, when most people drink, they drink to be sociable. You don’t see people –”

Nixon: “That’s right, that’s right.”

Linkletter: “They sit down with a marijuana cigarette to get high –”

Nixon: “A person does not drink to get drunk.”

Linkletter: “That’s right.”

Nixon: “A person drinks to have fun.”

Linkletter: “I’d say smoke marijuana, you smoke marijuana to get high.”

Nixon: “Smoke marijuana, er, uh, you want to get a charge of some sort, and float, and this, that and the other thing.”

Yup. Richard Nixon was an alcoholic.

But, even Richard Nixon knew that Art Linkletter was pretty much an out of touch old fogey. Later on, he famously met witH hooked-on-pills, Elvis Presley, and enlisted him as an “anti-drug” crusader (what a bizarre moment that was). As Tricky Dick said to Bob Haldeman at the time:

“This is just what I’ve been looking for. Elvis Presley, a rock ‘n’ roll hero to millions, wants to help with our anti-drug crusade. This will go a lot farther with the kids than Art Linkletter.”

Yup. Art Linkletter, the man even Richard Nixon thought was a square and a joke, is the spokesperson for USANext.