RIGHTWING OCTNON-OGENARIANS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS
The Rove/Bush/Pharmaceutical industry front organization, and AARP gnat, USANext’s official “National Chairman,” is none other than Art Linkletter.
Most people know of Linkletter as the original host of that goofy TV show that made comedy hay out of the cute responses kids gave to Art’s “probing” questions. Or, maybe, as the spokesman for Craftmatic adjustable beds.
But he was also a friend and confidante of former President, Richard Nixon. And recently released Nixon White House tapes provide us an example of how utterly bizarre Linkletter and Nixon were.
Here’s just a sampling.
“Art Linkletter: “There’s a great difference between alcohol and marijuana.”
Richard Nixon: “What is it?”
Linkletter: “The worst that you can have when you’re in with other alcoholics is more to drink, so you’ll throw up more and get sicker and be drunker.”
Nixon: “And that also is a great, great incentive, uh –”
Linkletter: “But when you are with druggers, you can go from marijuana to, say, heroin. Big difference.”
Nixon: “I see.”
Linkletter: “If, if, if you’re with a guy who suggests you have three more drinks than you should have, you’re just going to get sicker. But if you’re with a guy who you’re already high and he suggests you try, this instead of this, you can go much further.”
Then there’s this gem:
Linkletter: “Now, let me tell you one thing about marijuana you should know, that the word marijuana should never be used until you say, what kind of marijuana.”
Nixon: “Oh.”
Linkletter: “There is every grade. Now they say legalize marijuana or it isn’t bad. What marijuana isn’t bad? The mild stuff we grow in Wisconsin, or the stuff from Morocco? The twigs and the leaves, or the resin? The kind of person who uses it, is he psychologically sound or unsound? All these things make a difference. So you can never say marijuana, you’ve got to say, marijuana Acapulco, or marijuana from Mexico, or marijuana from Illinois.”
Jesus, what (excuse the pun) dopes.
Then, there’s this doozie of an exchange, which actually confirms one of the more controversial biographical details in Oliver Stone’s movie about Nixon:
Linkletter: “Another big difference between marijuana and alcohol is that when people smoke marijuana, they smoke it to get high. In every case, when most people drink, they drink to be sociable. You don’t see people –”
Nixon: “That’s right, that’s right.”
Linkletter: “They sit down with a marijuana cigarette to get high –”
Nixon: “A person does not drink to get drunk.”
Linkletter: “That’s right.”
Nixon: “A person drinks to have fun.”
Linkletter: “I’d say smoke marijuana, you smoke marijuana to get high.”
Nixon: “Smoke marijuana, er, uh, you want to get a charge of some sort, and float, and this, that and the other thing.”
Yup. Richard Nixon was an alcoholic.
But, even Richard Nixon knew that Art Linkletter was pretty much an out of touch old fogey. Later on, he famously met witH hooked-on-pills, Elvis Presley, and enlisted him as an “anti-drug” crusader (what a bizarre moment that was). As Tricky Dick said to Bob Haldeman at the time:
“This is just what I’ve been looking for. Elvis Presley, a rock ‘n’ roll hero to millions, wants to help with our anti-drug crusade. This will go a lot farther with the kids than Art Linkletter.”
Yup. Art Linkletter, the man even Richard Nixon thought was a square and a joke, is the spokesperson for USANext.
February 24th, 2005 at 12:07 pm
Linkletter did lose his daughter in an LSD-related incident, which was quite the news of the time. That might explain why Nixon & Linkletter were on the topic.
February 24th, 2005 at 12:08 pm
Linklater is a name recognizable only to the very old, 70-80 year olds, I would guess. These peoples’ opinions about Social Security are pretty fixed, so it seems exceptionally silly to have used him when the audience you want to appeal to is quite young.
February 24th, 2005 at 12:15 pm
I would have sworn that Linkletter was dead. Sorry to hear about his daughter.
February 24th, 2005 at 1:40 pm
If Linkletter fails, they might try rolling out the septugenarian former CEO of Eli Lilly & Co. (that is, when Mr. Rumsfeld can find time in between authorizing torture and drawing up robot battle plans…)
February 24th, 2005 at 2:08 pm
I remember an episode of his show where he asked kids what they would do if their parents became hippies.
I don’t remember the answers exactly, other than they shockingly violated my sense of family loyalty.
And then I went to my mom to ask what a hippie was.
Since then, I’ve considered Art a world-class jerk.
February 24th, 2005 at 4:51 pm
Dick Clark and Ed McMahon must have had other commitments.
Nice to know Art keeps up with cannabis trends. “Should we legalize Neville’s Haze or the Blueberry? Jamaican Lamb’s Breath or Afghani? There’s a big difference, you know, between your soaring sativa and couchlock indica.”
But, hey, I’m clearly outta my league - being a person who drinks alcohol to catch a buzz.
February 24th, 2005 at 5:50 pm
It dates me, I know, but I recall the precious Linkletter when he confronted the little kid squirming and squinching up his face, and when the venerable Art asked what the problem was, he said “Billy FARTED”.
From then on it was on delayed broadcast.
February 24th, 2005 at 6:36 pm
Good God, people, take down that photo! Each time I see it, my startle reflex makes me jerk involuntarily toward a doorframe.
February 24th, 2005 at 7:12 pm
Linkletter’s daughter committed suicide. There were no drugs in her system. Link. But Art and the family were happy to “encourage” the LSD story to further his anti-drug campaign.
February 24th, 2005 at 7:30 pm
Isn’t he technically a rightwing nonogenerian? (born 17 July 1912, Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, Canada)
February 24th, 2005 at 8:04 pm
Damn! I remember some of that stuff.
Vaguely.
February 24th, 2005 at 8:20 pm
That is a scary pic. Art’s eyes look redder than they should be. At the very least, he should be piss-tested to see if he might go on a murder rampage while associating with high ranking officials in the federal government. If Art’s not a “drugger” then there’s nothing to fear.
I’ll keep a catheter handy while I wait for the official request.
February 24th, 2005 at 11:03 pm
Hey! I’m only 52 and I remember Linkletter quite well. The last I heard, he grew tits from smoking too much Maui Wowie and was doing a drag revue in Carson City.
Kids said the darnedest thing back then. They still do when he puts his hand on their knees.
Why did his daughter commit suicide? The public doesn’t know. But LSD’s track record with regards to psychosis and suicide suggests there’s more to that story than Art could ever discuss publicly. Sadly, she probably suffered from depression or bipolar disorder, but back then diagnosis was rare and often resisted because the stigma was so enormous.
Things have improved a bit since then, but I’m afraid Art hasn’t grown wiser with age.
February 25th, 2005 at 12:31 am
Damn, never thought the barrel was this deep, or maybe this empty. Better post a guard by Dave Garroways grave.
February 25th, 2005 at 5:31 am
I do, in fact, remember his dughter. I believe that I was in college when she died. More to the point, Linkletter is your basic fool on these sorts of issues. A old hand at right wing issues and a supporter of Goldwater, time has passed him by. To use him now, what with nine toes in the grave, is an indication of how poorly the anti SS folks are doing. Perhaps this is a good sign? (Ouch did I write this?). Jay
February 25th, 2005 at 7:03 am
Yep, I remember the “Diane Linkletter killed herself and her dad then blamed drugs (specifically LSD) for all the world’s ills” bit too. Here’s Snopes’ take on the event. In fact, Art Linkletter won a Grammy for a spoken-word recording he did prior to the suicide (I’ve heard it, it’s about as creepy as you’d expect).
February 25th, 2005 at 7:06 am
For more on Diane Linkletter and her creepy dad, see this article at Snopes.
February 25th, 2005 at 7:52 am
A Bran Flakes song featuring a recording by Diane Linklatter discussing her life - originally presented as a poignant letter to her parents, but it takes on a weird light when mixed into the odd muzak of the Bran Flakes.
February 25th, 2005 at 7:53 am
Oops!
http://www.thebranflakes.com/bran/mp3/friend/thebranflakes-dearmomanddad.mp3
February 25th, 2005 at 8:10 am
Be sure to see the short film: “The Diane Linkletter Story” by John Waters, starring “Devine” as Diane Linkletter
February 25th, 2005 at 9:59 am
RIDDLE
Q: Who’s green and slimes the AARP?
A: Art Linklettuce.
February 25th, 2005 at 10:39 am
On “House Party” Art Linkletter coached the kids to answer his questions in a certain way. They were oblivious as to why the audience would roar with laughter when he’d ask something like, “What’s your mommy’s biggest problem at home?” and they’d answer, “My daddy.” Huge roars from the
audience, which thought the response was spontaneous.
This was in the 1950s, the last “family values” decade, which also included the quiz show scandals. Basically the same idea as Linkletter’s show, except Art didn’t pay the kids $64,000. Same concept, though. Feed answers to people ahead of time, assume the audience is made up of ignorant fools, and reap huge ratings. Gilded Age nonsense, just like Bush’s staged press conferences and photo ops.
The public will only catch on when it wants to. We aren’t quite there yet, but we’re getting closer.
February 25th, 2005 at 11:55 am
Art Linkletter’s campaign contributions
February 25th, 2005 at 2:10 pm
his daughter killed herself because her dad was such an asshole. lsd was a convenient scapegoat for him. someone should dose him, but he doesn’t deserve the revelation. i hope he chokes on a chickenbone this weekend. i thought he was dead already. come to think of it, he looks it. when he gets to heaven his daughter will be there to finally tell him what she couldn’t in life: GO TO HELL.
February 25th, 2005 at 3:29 pm
It’s one thing to think Art is being an idiot–and he is–for being involved in a disinformation campaign, but you clearly aren’t old enough to remember what happened with his daughter Diane.
She suffered flashbacks from the drug and leaped out of a window.
Leave the idiocy to the right wing, please.
February 25th, 2005 at 4:12 pm
you mean this guy is still alive???? i thought he was old when he did his ‘ kids say the darndest things ‘. dosnt surprise me that he is a rightwing hack.
February 25th, 2005 at 4:52 pm
Don’t underestimate Linkletter’s influence on seniors. I’m 62 and remember Linkletter as an immensely popular TV personality who appealed to all age groups in the 50’s and 60’s, I’m sure many others in my age cohort do also. I remember him as a very effective inspirational speaker at a teacher’s convention in the 70’s and was thoroughly entertained. Although I intensely dislike his politics, I don’t short-sell his ability to appeal to other seniors in TV spots, even at his age.
February 25th, 2005 at 5:06 pm
I still think Linklater has been dead for years now. The Right specializes in zombies.
February 25th, 2005 at 9:44 pm
I watched Linkletter when I was young. I also watched Danny Thomas and Charleton Heston in the movies. They all represent the right wing old folks prehistoric point of view and were a regrettable but necessary part of my childhood. My dad is 82 and marches to the same drummer as Linkletter. I forgive his ignorance but Art Linkletter is an old bastard and should be pushin’ up daisies.
February 26th, 2005 at 2:18 pm
The only reason Linkletter is on the job is because John Wayne and Ronald Reagan are dead.
February 28th, 2005 at 7:02 pm
See Linkletter’s drug LP.