A popular (in that I like it) recurring feature over at my blog, World O’Crap, is “Deep Thoughts, by Peggy Noonan.” It involves summarizing Peggy’s latest column, including some representative quotes from her, and then throwing in some “Deep Thoughts” by Jack Handey to make the point that Peggy, who is trying to be serious, is almost as funny as Jack, who is a humorist.

So, since I haven’t got anything else today, let’s try it out here and see what you think. (The quotes from Peggy and Jack will be in the boxes, with Jack’s in bolded italics.)

In this week’s column, Peggy starts by saying that there are two “predominant journalistic memes” since “Arab spring” began: the “what if Bush was actually right about something?’ meme, which has caused many a liberal journalist to jump out of a building; and the “I told you so!” meme, which has “the right and the middle” dancing in the streets with glee, because finding the WMDs and the signed confession from Iraq about 9/11 has vindicated them.

As I wrote in this space two years ago, the invasion of Iraq will likely give rise to a surge of democratic feeling that will inspire the entire Mideast. This is known as making it clear to one’s fans and foes that you were on the right side of history.

It’s also known as bragging. But so what? All who supported the Iraqi invasion took lumps for it; all who defended it in what seemed its dark days, and argued for its potential to transform the air of defeat that lingered over Arab politics, deserve the right to say, “I was right.”

People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side, which is the preening.

But while America gloats (except for the Left, which is frozen in self-doubt and confusion, wondering how it could have so misjudged the brilliant President), our enemies could be planning to nuke us, so we should stop all the rejoicing and start working on the duck- and- cover drills.

We live in the age of weapons of mass destruction. We live in an age of freelance actors and nuts with nukes. We all know this. We know the word “nuclear” is followed by the phrase “or chemical or biological weapons.” Because of these weapons, as again we all know, we could lose a million people in some American city tomorrow.

It’s not good to let any kid near a container that has a skull and crossbones on it, because there might be a skeleton costume inside and the kid could put it on and really scare you.

So, see, Bush HAS made you safer!

Yes, while it’s true that we are busy “searching out the wicked in foreign lands” and torturing people and stuff, we aren’t doing enough about civil defense, in that Americans just don’t seem scared enough. And we didn’t do enough before 9/11 either, in that our government and media should have been prescient, but they weren’t.

But we are not doing enough. And I know this because no one is talking about it. Not our political class in Washington, not our local leaders and not, God knows, the media. They should have been all over this issue in the ’90s, and were not. They should have been all over Osama and were not.

As the snow started to fall, he tugged his coat tighter around himself. Too tight, as it turned out. “This is the fourth coat crushing this year,” said the sergeant as he outlined the body with a special pencil that writes on snow.

And it’s not fair that the President and Congress have that cool underground fortress they can retreat to in time of attack, while average people like Peggy have to do the best they can with tin foil, duct tape, and Ronald Reagan memorabilia.

Is the average U.S. citizen less defended from cataclysm than senators and representatives? They have shelters in the Capitol, and they have gas masks too. Why don’t we?

During the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not putting on your armor because you were “just going down to the corner.”

Geez, you’d think that a conservative would show a little more self-reliance. But here, Peggy, don’t say I never did anything for you:

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Peggy says that politicians aren’t willing to “sound the gong consistently on civil defense” because they don’t want to sound like kooks, or get criticized for harshing our buzz. But Peggy isn’t afraid to do either, so maybe we should let her star in some “Terror Scare” movies as a way of educating the public about why we need more bomb shelters. (I see her playing “Ms. Ohman” in an updated version of the 1952 Red Scare movie, Invasion USA.)

Politicians don’t want to sound like fear mongers. They don’t want to look eccentric or obsessed. And they don’t want to be tuned out. I think the general feeling among political leaders on civil defense is they’re afraid America will look at them and say, “You are ruining my high. You are so bringing me down.”

Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let’s say you’re an astronaut on the moon and you fear that your partner has been turned into Dracula. The next time he goes out for the moon pieces, wham!, you just slam the door behind him and blast off. He might call you on the radio and say he’s not Dracula, but you just say, “Think again, bat man.”

And now New York is rebuilding, constructing parks, stadiums, and memorials — but won’t somebody please think of the children?

We are doing all this building at the same time that various insane and quite evil men are planning on doing away with our city. They won’t be happy until those skyscrapers are cinders. And when and if they move, the children playing so happily in our brand new Brooklyn waterfront park are going to get hurt.

If you ever feel like you’re on the verge of a nervous breakdown, just follow these simple rules: First, calm down; second, come over and wash my car; third, shine all my shoes. There, isn’t that better?

In conclusion, we didn’t change our very way of life in response to terrorism, and that was a mistake, since millions could die from an al Qaeda nuclear bomb tomorrow. Of course, the Rapture could come tomorrow too, but we should still plan for the bomb. So, start demanding that the government supply you with Cipro, smallpox vaccinations, decontamination suits, fallout shelters, and zombie repellant, so that you will be safe in this glorious new world of freedom and demoracy that George Bush has made possible.