It was still another post-St. Patty�€™s Day weekend. It was time to show who could drink who under the table. It had worked for George Bush , after all, on a post-St. Patty�€™s Day weekend just a score and four months before. Operation Iraqi freedom had been a great success. Now, it was clear that the countdown for Operation Freedom from Freedom was ready to begin.

The Democrats had received sufficient warnings that their weapons of mass determination carried as much weight with this President as the rules of the English language. On issues as varied as Social Security, drilling for oil in wildlife preserves, or stealing from the poor to give to the rich, Democrats had threatened to pour together Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh�€™s formula of fertilizer and kerosene, only to see it self combust into laughing gas.

�€œThe Democrats just don�€™t seem to understand my mandate, �€œ George W. Bush told a national broadcast, as he sat in front of a fireplace �€” a copy of My Pet Goat prominently featured on a nearby coffee table. �€œI have political capital, and they don�€™t. That�€™s the nature of a dictatorship �€” er crusade �€” er freedom! �€œ

Bush said the time had come for the opposition to give up on all their Democrat games and enlist as �€œjunior Republicans.�€� The people clearly gave their blessing to the Republican formula in this past election, Bush noted, just as they bless �€œother great things about America,�€� like Wal-Mart, The Apprentice, and Michael Jackson. �€œ

Remaining Democrats on Capitol Hill from Senators Hillary Clinton to Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid demonstrated all the unity of a National Convention Platform Committee. �€œAlready a large number of former Democrats have taken up my challenge to become junior Republicans,�€� Bush noted. �€œIt won�€™t keep them from being used for target practice in the next election cycle �€” but they will get a neat �€˜junior Republican�€™ pin with Karl Rove�€™s image.�€�

Still, Bush lamented the continued Democrat insurgency led by the evil terrorist-loving Ted Kennedy, holed up under a bridge over troubled waters. �€œDemocrats have had four months since the election to let Republican inspectors in to determine whether or not they will continue their whining, obstructive death march on behalf of those who no one cares about,�€� Bush cautioned. �€œIt�€™s about time for these nattering nabobs of none-ness to remove themselves from future Social Security rolls.�€�

Bush warned that his patience is �€œshort�€� for Democrats to respond to his message. He noted that opponents have ignored subtle hints in the Congress that their power has been diminished. Democrats apparently did not get the message even after the Republican leadership took away their executive wash room keys and installed Honey Buckets on the remaining Democratic aisle in the Congress.

Democratic Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi says she is a bit uncomfortable in having to hold public hearings each time her office requires new staples, but says she is comforted by the fact that Speaker Dennis Hastert has provided access to C-SPAN on the seven-inch TV in the former child care center that now serves as the control room for the Democratic Caucus. �€œMany of us are a little big for the kiddy furniture in the room, but we�€™re just grateful that we don�€™t have to go outside to use the Honey Bucket.�€�

Pelosi says she is doing the best she can to create a �€œspirit of compromise�€� in the often bickering seat of government. She says Democrats are beginning to cooperate on issues like adding the face of George W. Bush to Mount Rushmore and putting the picture of GOP Majority Leader Tom Delay on US currency. �€œI still would like it to be on the $3 bill,�€� Pelosi noted.

Sentiments like that will make it necessary to use a military option in removing Democrats from any remaining power, Bush warned. �€œMs. Pelosi and Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez are having an impromptu meeting in the basement of the Department of Justice at this moment, �€œBush revealed. �€œWe�€™ll plan our next action after that meeting is over.�€�