The last laugh is yet to be had
by Hindsocket
Proving they have no morals, liberals reported today, among other things, that the death of Pope John Paul II was caused by a broken heart, after the death of the only woman he ever broke his vow of abstinence with: Terry Schiavo… She’s not even Polish!
Another reported that the Pope insisted his body be kept alive for 15 years to demonstrate God’s will to have the Earth populated by Latin-speaking Polish Pope zombies. Do these liberals have no shame?
Yet another took it even further, saying there’s growing evidence that highly placed followers of Marshall Applewhite were starting a fresh wave of suicides to join him on his ufo. They cited the strange coincidence of William Rehnquist, Howell Heflin, Pope John Paul II, Prince Rainier, Jerry Falwell, and Henry Kissinger all facing life threatening situations simultaneously. God will not find this amusing in the least.
What’s really happening is The Rapture. I received a memo from an anonymous source that proves this, which is why I packed my briefcase this morning.
Update: No, Yasser Arafat died before the Rapture began. I can’t explain Johnnie Cochran, either unless he got in on an affirmative action deal.
April 1st, 2005 at 1:10 pm
Mitch Hedberg, too!
April 1st, 2005 at 5:33 pm
the only woman he ever broke his vow of abstinence with
Within the last fifteen tears? Hell, who hasn’t gotten a piece of that action. She was much harder to nail when she had a brain.
Sorry. I’ve never written anything in such poor taste. I’m going to go wash my head out with soap now.