Well, that seems to be the latest conservative talking point. Here’s the story, courtesy of the Washington Times (emphasis added):

More than 900 conservative leaders and activists gathered to praise House Majority Leader Tom DeLay last night, with several thanking God for the Texan’s role as the engine of the conservative legislative agenda.

“The leadership of the conservative movement all of my life has prayed for a leader like Tom DeLay, and I’m here today to publicly thank God for answering my prayers,” said Paul M. Weyrich, president of the Free Congress Foundation.

Um, guys, maybe next time you might want to consider praying for a leader who was good looking, principled, and ethical. Just a suggestion.

But even though God has sent them the Chosen One in answer to their prayers, the wingnuts aren’t through bothering Him, because now they want God to smite Tom’s enemies. (Or maybe just give Tom a cloak of political invincibility, or something.)

“The message of tonight is, ‘if they pick a fight with Tom DeLay, they pick a fight with all of us,’ ” said Tony Perkins, president of the Family Research Council, who also used his benediction to ask that God protect Mr. DeLay from political attacks.

Hey, that world peace thing will just have to wait until God finishes protecting Tom DeLay, because that’s what’s most important.

Per the article, those 900 conservatives paid $250 each (or $2000 a table) to attend the tribute to DeLay. What will the $200,000 or so be used for? The article doesn’t say, but I’m guessing it’s to bribe some members of the congressional ethics committee. (Or perhaps to buy Hot Tub Tom some hookers to take his mind off his troubles — but since Tom’s wife was there, the committee had to be discreet.)

Mr. DeLay’s wife, Christine, told the audience about meeting her husband in high school — “there was this really hot guy, he was so cute” — and that she had to ask him out the first time.

She also shared her reaction when he told her he was running for the state legislature in Texas: “I think my first comment is ‘That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.’ ”

But then he told her how much she could make working on his campaign, and she was sold! (An added perk was that she could see that really hot guy from high school whenever her husband was out of town.)

While most of Mr. DeLay’s jokes were directed at his Democratic opponents in Congress, the other speakers blamed the press for the questions facing Mr. DeLay.

L. Brent Bozell, president of the Media Research Center, said a Google search produced 833,000 matches for Mr. DeLay’s name and the word “scandal.”

Actually, if you search for “Tom DeLay” and “scandal” you get only 221,000 matches. In order to get near the figure quoted by Brent, you have to search for “delay” and “scandal,” which gives you not only info about Tom’s little lapses , but also “matches” such as “Justice Department granted White House delay on order to preserve records in CIA exposure scandal.” (Kids, I think this is a perfect of example of the kind of media research done by Mr. Bozell and his center.)

“This is a media out of control in their commitment to bringing down this man,” Bozell said, questioning the ethics of reporters. But he compared Mr. DeLay to other prominent conservative figures like Oliver North, and predicted that like them, Mr. DeLay would survive.

Yeah, it’s the reporters who lack ethics, not DeLay, because those damned journalists keep writing stories that use the words “delay” and “scandal.”

And just for fun, let’s briefly review the Oliver North scandal: he was guilty of violating congressional orders banning the sale of weapons to Iran, and giving aid to the Contras. He lied to Congress. He was indicted on sixteen felony counts and convicted of three: accepting an illegal gratuity, aiding and abetting in the obstruction of a congressional inquiry, and destruction of documents. His conviction was later vacated on the grounds that immunized testimony was used at his trial. So, North was guilty of the crimes that led to the “scandal,” but got off due to a “technicality.” And then he later went on to become a Fox News personality.

Therefore, what I think that Brent is saying is: even though DeLay is guility of all the charges against him, Ollie’s story proves that we don’t execute people for accepting illegal gratuities, and so Tom will survive, and will go on to be a weather girl or something.

Some joked that it could be worse.

“Nobody has yet put a pie in your face,” said Phyllis Schlafly. “I guess your enemies don’t hate you as much as they hate Ann Coulter.”

Hey, if Tom worked at it just a bit more (and wore a miniskirt), he could be just as hated as Ann. It’s good to have goals.