TAS correspondent Bart reports from Iraq:

THE STAR WARS CANTINA

I’ve mentioned before about the lousy KBR food. But I’ve stupidly neglected to mention the amazing aspect of the main Green Zone dinning facility (DFAC) at the Republican Palace. It really is the Star Wars Cantina.

First off, you’ve got all the U.S. Military there. Army, Marines, Air Force and Navy. Some of them work here all time. Some just came in from a convoy or patrol. Some are down from Falluja or Mosul, spending a few days here. All different units, reservists and regulars, officer and enlisted.

Then you have the foreign military units, rannging from people stationed here to those just visiting. I’ve seen British, Australian, Italian, Turkish, Polish, Danish (they sent their special forces, a bunch of blonde Vikings, and the women are swooning), and Georgians (from Asia, not Atlanta).

I wanted to say a word about the Georgians, because they are the only ones who scare the living shit out of me. Every one of them looks like he’s slit your throat without a second, or even a first, thought. To a man, they look like they’d be right at home among “The Dirty Dozen.”

Then you have your security contractors, most of whom have their pistols holstered on their hips while they are eating. Incidentally, when walking thru the DFAC, you have to make sure you don’t trip on M-16’s and M-4’s that the troops have brought in (magazines are supposed to be out the weapon). Employees of one security company often wear a t-shirt that says “The Green Zone: The Ultimate Gated Community.” Incidentally, the Gurkha’s, who are contracted to one of the security companies, are the most professional and polite guards you could find anywhere. I’m pretty certain, however, they’re
not making the same bucks the American security contractors are.

Then you have your other contractors. These range from the KBR women who work in the laundry, to the guys who work on the generators supplying the power (the Green Zone supplies its own electricity) to the American lady who hands out towells at the gym

Next are your Federal civilian employees. That includes State Department, with a large group of Iraqi employees (the lady Iraqis are definitely hunting for eligible U.S. bachelors) and, from what I’ve heard, every other Federal agency. The FBI, the cone-of-silence three-letter agency that begins with “C,” the FAA, and IRS (for their expertise in financial transactions) are here. And a shitload of the 3161 direct hire employee’s that I’ve mentioned before, some of whom are making big bucks.

Helluva of a mix. And I’m damn sure some of these people are trying to collect information from each other. Not exactly a “wretched hive of scum and villainy,” but all we would need are the little aliens making the music and we would have a real world version of that cantina in Star Wars.

Bart