Let Us Pray
Dear Brethren and Sistren,
Let us pray today for a more godly Supreme Court, one that doesn’t threaten our freedom to preach and worship and spread our message everywhere. Let us pray for manly Justices full of God’s holy wrath so that families are no longer threatened in this country by allowing more of them to be created by those homosexuals. Let us pray for a Supreme Court that finally puts an end to all those spawns of Satans: the liburals. Let us pray!
This country is a Christianist country, my brethren and sistren. It has always been so and it always will be. In a Christianist country money belongs to the Caesar and those that worked hard and thus were elevated. Or their children and children’s children. Others deserve the contempt God is showing by keeping them poor. These are matters that the Supreme Court cannot judge, must not judge. The Court should interpret God’s holy laws for us: that slavery is not that bad, that women are forever subject to the manly authority, that George Bush foreshadows the end of the world. And the end of the world is nigh. Let us praise Lord!
Not a sparrow falls without God knowing. If many sparrows fall today and fly no more, does God not approve of this? Has He not told us that he will provide us with the plants and animals until the world ends? The world is ending, and sparrows may now fall as tney please. Praise the Lord!
We are doing God’s work in Iraq. All must convert or perish! Even those who are Catholics must see the errors of their way and repent before it is too late. We shall not give innocent babies for adoption in Catholic homes, for there they will be lost from God’s mercy. We shall use the money we get from this country to make sure that no baby is lost from the True Faith. Praise the Lord!
Now let me tell you, my brethren and sistren, that God loves you! He does! And he wants you to be rich and to rejoice in your richness. See my humble example, how I drive a new SUV to my new beach house because this is the glory of God and the blessing of us who are saved. You shall earn your wealth, too, have no fear. Every dollar you contribute today to my church will be like a seed planted in God’s good soil, and soon, soon, you will look down on the evil liburals from the heights of your very own SUV.
Amen.
July 16th, 2005 at 4:10 pm
Praise Jeebus!
July 17th, 2005 at 12:30 am
hey…you didnt mention the space ship in the tail of a comet that was going to take us all away from this. (of course we’ed all have to donate all our worldly possesions to you)
and hey:
Tithing protects you from the devourer and opens the windows of heaven