Forgive us if we conclude that a newspaper led by someone who speaks this way to college seniors has as a major goal not winning the war on terror but obstructing it.

It looks like the frat boys at Kappa Gamma Anal Speculum is having a war with Wai Beta Thanyo Mama to see if they can retain their status as Karl Rove’s favorite hemorrhoid.

And looky! Here’s your chance to bring your slingshots for a Preparation H fight. Though tomatoes, waterballoons and rotten eggs are acceptable alternatives.

As I noted in a comment to Glenn Greenwald, let’s stop fretting about the future and focus on getting the essential matter out to the public as simply, clearly and repeatedly as we can:

“The Republican Supreme Court determined Bush broke the law and said the president’s criminal behavior must stop.”

Nobody can counter that convincingly, so let it resound from the rooftops. If we argue theory or fret about what-ifs, we invite distraction and spin. Let’s promote a clear, sharp focus instead.

[EXCERPT]

Good morning.
Thanks for inviting me into your homes. You probably realize I could come in either way, since my friend makes keys.
God is great God is good let us thank him for our food.

My old praying buddy, Zarqie (God is great God is good let us thank him for our food) has booked his trip to Virginland and, God willing, is up for it. He is a marter now, and can now shop at the Wal-Mart in the sky…without money!

Diamonds cut diamonds. I am a king of diamonds. The great America is only a jack of diamonds. Do the math.
And your president is only like a 6 of hearts or some other boring card. And he will be gone in a couple of years. I, however, will still be here in Baluchistan with my nephew, Jimmy the Hydrant.

Not only is your illiterate president a low card, he is also a mere Methodist, and everyone knows that a Methodist is just a Baptist who can read. Yet still he doesn’t…except the Eggman’s daily talking points. Were only your Bush, “The Mediocre Satan”, a Socratic Methodist, you might stand a chance. But he is only a Kristol Methodist, damaged goods. Just watch what happens to his teeth. They will Anglify right before your eyes.
Have Karl add “maintain dentition” to his dailies and he may be spared much fingerpointing. Parsley is good to fix that odor problem, which some say he got from Ann Coulter whom everyone knows has a smelly yoni from her Nazi Youth League nights. God is great God is good let us thank him for our food.
—

When life gets you down, just remember that we’re standing on a planet that evolving and revolving at one hundred thousand miles an hour. Is that right? That fast! No wonder it seems so windy.

Before Monty Python there was, of course, the Bhagavad Gita. That part about viewing life and war as but a drama. You’ll feel better in your armchair. God is great God is good let us thank him for our food.
(He talks a lot about food.)

Some people say that if I didn’t exist, your president would have to invent me. Well, your president is not that inventive, even thought Neitzsche says we are all greater artists than we imagine. But he was talking about our tendency to live in the world of make-believe, which Bad Gump certainly does. But my polls are indicating that his little fling there with Condie gave him a boost to his manly self-esteem, much like Viagra gave Rush the manliness to share his Herpes with Chloe O’Brien, whom I hear is filing for a restraining order.

My check to the Supremes is in the mail, but tell George I’ve still not gotten mine. Well, I did get last month’s. God is great God is good let us thank him for our food. While you’re at it, tell him I still haven’t been thanked for the “trifecta” line.

Lastly, I don’t think it is asking too much to receive SAG wages, at least, for my spoken lines. Granted I’d rather be above the line, but royalty checks are too easily traced. I’m getting tired of eating pork and beans.
But to be fair, I do have a lot to be thankful for. Jack Bauer is going to China, and not coming here. This is a good thing. He is no sandal-wearing Jesus. Wouldn’t wanna meet up with that guy. Besides, I enjoyed Klute.
At least the Nintendo.

Oh, and BOO!