The Voters Like Them, They Really Like Them Lovable Terror Twins
In a desperate plea for attention, the longtime bride of Osama Bin Laden passed a love note to the Democratic Party:
In a portion of the tape from al Qaeda No. 2 man, Ayman al Zawahri, made available only today, Zawahri says he has two messages for American Democrats.
“The first is that you aren’t the ones who won the midterm elections, nor are the Republicans the ones who lost. Rather, the Mujahideen — the Muslim Ummah’s vanguard in Afghanistan and Iraq — are the ones who won, and the American forces and their Crusader allies are the ones who lost,” Zawahri said, according to a full transcript obtained by ABC News.
Afterwards, he was heard sobbing uncontrollably behind his veil.
“I am SOMEbody!” he shrieked, to the doctors sedating him.
But they were too late, as rightist vultures seized on the note with a fervor normally reserved to overfelched gerbils, citing it as proof that, indeed, Republicans lost nothing. And that the Democrats had allowed the bride and groom the mind control power that had forced tens of millions of voters to vote for Bin Laden as their least favorite fruitcake.
The vultures swore that, from now on, the US government would base all their foreign policy decisions on the mutterings of a bitter old groundhog whose every threat since 9-11 had never come to pass. And as they pecked at the note, they were filled with diivine wisdom, and that’s when they knew they would blame it all on the terrorist masterminds, Hillary al-Clinton and Jimmy al-Carter.
Update: Nitpicker adds more at Unclaimed Territory.
