Drudge has the complete speech, with its money quote:

On September the 11th, 2001, we saw what a refuge for extremists on the other side of the world could bring to the streets of our own cities. For the safety of our people, America must succeed in Iraq.

Phew. For a second there, I thought he was gonna say our safety required us to succeed in Afghanistan. Or maybe in Washington, DC. Thankfully, neither of those will be necessary. We just need to keep on killing Saddam.

Our military commanders reviewed the new Iraqi plan to ensure that it addressed these mistakes. They report that it does. They also report that this plan can work.

Yes, but did both of them say “Mother may I?” If not, it doesn’t count.

This new strategy will not yield an immediate end to suicide bombings, assassinations, or IED attacks. Our enemies in Iraq will make every effort to ensure that our television screens are filled with images of death and suffering. Yet over time, we can expect to see Iraqi troops chasing down murderers, fewer brazen acts of terror, and growing trust and cooperation from Baghdad’s residents.

It was a huge loss when the terrorists captured our TV networks.

And Secretary Rice will soon appoint a reconstruction coordinator in Baghdad to ensure better results for economic assistance being spent in Iraq.

Isn’t Brownie available?

America’s men and women in uniform took away al Qaeda’s safe haven in Afghanistan – and we will not allow them to re-establish it in Iraq.

They’ll just have to make do in Pakistan, Indonesia, and the Sudan. And all that unclaimed territory in the old Afghanistan, outside of the new one we made in Kabul.

We will use America’s full diplomatic resources to rally support for Iraq from nations throughout the Middle East.

We’re equipping our rally squad with extra big pom-poms, which should make it work better this time.

Let me be clear: The terrorists and insurgents in Iraq are without conscience, and they will make the year ahead bloody and violent. Even if our new strategy works exactly as planned, deadly acts of violence will continue – and we must expect more Iraqi and American casualties. The question is whether our new strategy will bring us closer to success. I believe that it will.

And I believe in puppies… and you… because Saint John McCain tells me to.

Their solution is to scale back America’s efforts in Baghdad – or announce the phased withdrawal of our combat forces. We carefully considered these proposals. And we concluded that to step back now would force a collapse of the Iraqi government, tear that country apart, and result in mass killings on an unimaginable scale.

Unlike the current scale, which sentient beings imagined. And warned you about. We also imagine that the scale of mass killings will increase because of your plan. When our troops come home, at least one million Iraqis will be dead. Imagine that.

and help the Iraqis break the current cycle of violence

Ooooooh! Psychomological-speak! Yes, cycles of violence ALWAYS are broken by increasing the violence. It worked really well for Arafat and Sharon, right?

Acting on the good advice of Senator Joe Lieberman and other key members of Congress

…. ah, the sweet nothings whispered when swapping spit.

We also need to examine ways to mobilize talented American civilians to deploy overseas

Deploy? Civilians deploy?!? Why, when I was a boy, we used to call that emigration to countries with saner governments.

These young Americans understand that our cause in Iraq is noble and necessary – and that the advance of freedom is the calling of our time. They serve far from their families, who make the quiet sacrifices of lonely holidays and empty chairs at the dinner table. They have watched their comrades give their lives to ensure our liberty. We mourn the loss of every fallen American – and we owe it to them to build a future worthy of their sacrifice.

Yes, eternal wisdom is always vested in the young. You mourn their losses, but never at their funerals. And you don’t mourn the British losses, or other allies’ losses or the Iraqis who’ve died by the hundreds of thousands.

Fellow citizens: The year ahead will demand more patience, sacrifice, and resolve.

Has Bush ever used the term “fellow citizens” before? It sounds so quaint, so LBJ & Nixonish.

We go forward with trust that the Author of Liberty will guide us through these trying hours.

Thomas Paine’s still alive?

Enough of that. Now I’ll summarize from another source.

From Reuters:

“If we increase our support at this crucial moment and help the Iraqis break the current cycle of violence, we can hasten the day our troops begin coming home,” he said.

He said Iraqi leaders must follow through on promises on approving an oil-sharing law and reforms aimed at a political reconciliation among warring groups, but gave no deadlines.

Bush will ask Congress for $5.6 billion to fund the extra deployment and another $1.2 billion for a rebuilding and jobs program aimed at getting Iraqis jobs and keeping them from joining militias.

About 50 protesters beat drums and rang cowbells and chanted “no more war” outside the White House gate after the speech.

50? Clearly, we need more cowbell.

Promises to share oil revenues? Gee, ya think? Blow all the rebuilding funds hiring cronies and foreigners, leave a lot of Iraqi hands idle with nary a thing to do, and leave it up in the air whether the oil poor 6 million Sunnis will get a cut of the nation’s wealth at all. Sounds like a perfect prescription to create a civil war.

$1.2 billion to provide jobs four years late, after deductions for overhead, cronyism and graft, oughta be enough to keep 68 Iraqis gainfully employed.

And still, no deadline for the asshole governmenteers to even produce a quorum so they can do any governmentation. Not a single promise of a way to survive for the nation’s Sunnis. Being deciders is clearly hard work, since 50% plus one can’t even decide to show up long enough to decide where to go for lunch.

The only deadline is the November one, which -oddly- grants just enough time for Bush to announce a withdrawal before the US presidential primaries begin. That provides 10 months for the Iraqi legislators to pocket Iraq’s remaining treasury and move to Jordan, while US troops get third deployments, increased casualties and a lovely note from their Super-duper Commander saying “Terribly sorry for mucking it up; here’s hoping you survive to see Christmas.”

How super-powerish. How visionaryite. “Stay the course but this time we mean it.”

And in 13 days, the Super-duper Commander can proclaim at the State of the Union speech that all the Iraqi terrorists, funded by Iran, Syria, Venezuela, Nicaragua and the Democrats are being mean to him because losing Iraq means the terrorists win.

But the US won’t really be defeated. Only Bush will, along with 26 million Iraqis. They’ll get more misery and woe. Bush will get a library with all its contents classified, and a nice fat pension.

Sounds like a good deal. Where do we sign up to support this plan? Does it come with a yellow decal so I can show I support the troops?

This democracy stuff is so cool. It’s so easy; let’s do more.