Where’s my discount card?
I want to go out for lunch, but I’m not sure how to proceed. For years, I’ve been hiding during daylight hours to avoid natural predators (employers, teens, insurance agents) just so I could survive to enjoy this day.
But I checked the mail: no card. Looked under my pillow: nada. Frantically, I checked under my windshield wipers. AuggGGGHHH! Where’s my freaking card??!!??
I earned it. Somebody forgot to deliver it. Somebody, who’s going to pay dearly for their oversight.
Today, I’m supposed to be eligible for my Senior Citizen’s Discount Card so I can forage for sustenance on the cheap at Applebees and Denny’s while beginning the ten year countdown to Social Security.
Ulp.
My post just got interrupted. My youngest, safely beyond teenagerhood at 20, called to deliver birthday greetings. And, er, um, she also pointed out something too glaringly obvious.
I’m not 55.
I’m 54…
Ahem.
Where was I?
Oh yeah. I’ve looked all over and can’t find the culprit who failed to deliver my brain today. Keep your eyes open for it; it’s gray, sorta slimy looking, and about the size of a walnut.
(Really? Wait a second. 1953 + 54 = damn. You’re right. Why was I think…?) And she just giggled relentlessly at her old Dad’s senility. Which in itself, was the nicest gift I could hope for, from someone who spent the last 5 weeks in pain from a dysfunctional gall bladder. Real laughter.
Yeah, I will forever celebrate this, my first year as the object of derision, for wanting to be older than I actually am.
I’m going back to bed, to start the day over. Finally aware there’s another year of hiding from predators.
Update: Dreher, Mahablog, and numerous commenters provide a good birthday substitute for my missing brain: flashbacks!
January 13th, 2007 at 3:15 pm
To celebrate said birthday
January 13th, 2007 at 3:23 pm
http://www.rathergood.com/first_drink/
January 13th, 2007 at 4:24 pm
happy birthday! (isn’t AARP 50 tho, for all the discounts?)
January 13th, 2007 at 5:02 pm
Thanks, bro. Thanks, Amberglow.
Fifty? If so, nobody told me.
January 13th, 2007 at 8:38 pm
Hey, isn’t 50 supposed to be the new 40? So that would mean 54 would be the, um, er, ah lets see five guzinta four eight…subtract…ah…shit, still middle aged…
And AARP lets you join at 50, big wup, they were for the medicare drug bill…
January 14th, 2007 at 12:37 am
Happy Birthday Kevin! You whippersnapper!
I realize you’re leaving very soon, the blog is over, but please keep up with comments or more. More, cause you got more than some comments scattered about. I’m sure you could be a partner with others.
Maybe there will be a blog consolidation. Kos is so branched it really could be many. Maybe the commenters want a sort of recognition, and they consolidate - that’s why you get readers but not commenters. So the congregations make the big guys look bigger, and the little guys have to do it for an obscure drive of love and concern.
But, remember, ’specially at your dotage, “use it or lose it”