Oh, c’mon!

Debate whether the VP’s office is in the executive branch? Interesting?

Not.

Before the White House yammering fools propose other debates that amuse them, there’s a few settled facts we should exempt from their silliness.

1) If Vice President Cheney wants to live in a make-believe world in an invisible branch of government, he can do so without the aid, consent and paycheck of the American people.

2) Try as he might to invent novel new ways to avoid oversight, any points earned for creativity are immediately lost by the reality that he’s simply stonewalling because his actions can’t withstand scrutiny.

3) A coverup, by any other name, smells just as crooked.

4) Cheney thinks he’s being cute. In reality, he’s a third rate mook in a fourth rate criminal enterprise. Which is as cute as diarrhea on soggy toast.

5) The president is commander in chief of the Marines and Air Force, even though the Constitution only says he’s “commander in chief of the Army and Navy of the United States”. Common sense suffices in determining that. Similarly, it says the VP is part of the executive branch. Period.

5) If Cheney can’t play by the rules, he’s out. The Constitution, in the 12th Amendment, says: “no person constitutionally ineligible to the office of President shall be eligible to that of Vice-President of the United States.” Plus, the 25th Amendment allows for the President to be removed due to incapacity.

Thus, if Cheney suffers from mental incapacity - which his self-proclaimed delusional world makes clear - he would be removed as President. His current mental incapacity makes him ‘constitutionally ineligible to the office of President’ per the 12th Amendment, therefore making him ineligible to be the VP. And Congress is charged with the duty of formalizing that and determining who then shall succeed the President till another VP is nominated and accepted. Impeachment is thus not required if Congress determines he suffers from an incapacity.’

But if Congress thinks that’s a stretch, they oughta go for the easy pickin’s. Impeachment. For what? Based on a cursory investigation, I admit it’s very, very difficult to find anything that Cheney’s done that’s legal or ethical. It’s harder still to make the case for impeaching a so-called life form that’s clearly inhuman, with an obvious built-in insanity defense.

But Congress ought to try it. They got permission to do so with that same old Constitution: “The President, Vice President and all civil officers of the United States, shall be removed from office on impeachment for, and conviction of, treason, bribery, or other high crimes and misdemeanors.”

It also provides pay instructions for the President and Congress, but speaks nary a word about compensating the VP. Maybe we should have a strict constructionist debate about the intentions of the founders on that. It’d be infinitely more interesting than the obvious distractions Cheney’s putting forth to cover his illegal acts.

But so far, Congress seems intent on getting sucked into kindergarten debates: “Is not!” “Is too!” “I’m invisible!” “Are not!”

Imagine what Congress could be like if it was composed of adults from the branch of life forms called ‘vertebrates’. Imagine if they pursued that unusual activity some people do, called “their job.”

I know, I know, I lapse into fantasy way too often. Which makes me eminently qualified to be the VP.

Sorry, I have more ambition than that. Someday, I plan to be sane.