Does Bush have cancer?
Consider: On July 20th, Bush had a colonoscopy, during which, several polyps were excised. Yesterday, it was announced his asshole would be gone on August 31st. And experts fear the malignancy will continue to spread.
Though rumors have spread that his brain will soon be non-functional, our investigation indicates that while the colonoscopy proved his head was, indeed, up his rectum, the cancer was unable to spread past his skull as no host was present.
We extend our condolences to the family of the cancer.


