Bush speaks, you yawn:

THE PRESIDENT: Good evening. In the life of all free nations, there come moments that decide the direction of a country and reveal the character of its people.

We are now at such a moment.

TRANSLATION: This is all about you. Will you measure up?

In Iraq, an ally of the United States is fighting for its survival. Terrorists and extremists who are at war with us around the world are seeking to topple Iraq’s government, dominate the region, and attack us here at home. If Iraq’s young democracy can turn back these enemies, it will mean a more hopeful Middle East and a more secure America. This ally has placed its trust in the United States. And tonight, our moral and strategic imperatives are one: We must help Iraq defeat those who threaten its future and also threaten ours.

TRANSLATION: In the American colonies, allies of the United Kingdom are fighting for its survival. George Washington and Sam Adams seek to topple King George’s rule, dominate North America and invade London. We have to kill them.

Eight months ago, we adopted a new strategy to meet that objective, including a surge in U.S. forces that reached full strength in June. This week, General David Petraeus and Ambassador Ryan Crocker testified before Congress about how that strategy is progressing. In their testimony, these men made clear that our challenge in Iraq is formidable. Yet they concluded that conditions in Iraq are improving, that we are seizing the initiative from the enemy, and that the troop surge is working.

TRANSLATION: Last January, against the will of the majority of America, the majority of Iraq, the majority of our generals, and all sentient beings, I decided to do the opposite. And now I’m saying ‘we’ decided to escalate the war. And my appointees to oversee the war says my brilliant plan is succeeding some. Because I’m the Succeeder, aren’t we?

The premise of our strategy is that securing the Iraqi population is the foundation for all other progress. For Iraqis to bridge sectarian divides, they need to feel safe in their homes and neighborhoods. For lasting reconciliation to take root, Iraqis must feel confident that they do not need sectarian gangs for security. The goal of the surge is to provide that security and to help prepare Iraqi forces to maintain it. As I will explain tonight, our success in meeting these objectives now allows us to begin bringing some of our troops home.

TRANSLATION: If everyone in Iraq isn’t being killed, they can do other important stuff. They won’t need to buy protection if we protect them by killing some of them. And if everyone’s getting along, we can end the surge and go back to a Rumsfeld-size military occupation force.

Since the surge was announced in January, it has moved through several phases. First was the flow of additional troops into Iraq, especially Baghdad and Anbar Province. Once these forces were in place, our commanders launched a series of offensive operations to drive terrorists and militias out of their strongholds. Finally, in areas that have been cleared, we are surging diplomatic and civilian resources to ensure that military progress is quickly followed up with real improvements in daily life.

TRANSLATION: Dig the phases, man. First, troops got shipped in. Then they started shooting. Then we started surging diplomatic and civilian resources, I think surge is a useful verb to describe anything. Go surge yourself.

Anbar Province is a good example of how our strategy is working. Last year, an intelligence report concluded that Anbar had been lost to Al Qaeda. Some cited this report as evidence that we had failed in Iraq and should cut our losses and pull out. Instead, we kept the pressure on the terrorists. The local people were suffering under the Taliban-like rule of Al Qaeda, and they were sick of it. So they asked us for help.

To take advantage of this opportunity, I sent an additional 4,000 marines to Anbar as part of the surge. Together, local sheiks, Iraqi forces, and coalition troops drove the terrorists from the capital of Ramadi and other population centers. Today, a city where Al Qaeda once planted its flag is beginning to return to normal. Anbar citizens who once feared beheading for talking to an American or Iraqi soldier now come forward to tell us where the terrorists are hiding. Young Sunnis who once joined the insurgency are now joining the army and police. And with the help of our provincial reconstruction teams, new jobs are being created and local governments are meeting again.

TRANSLATION: Last year, an intelligence report I won’t identify said things sucked in Anbar, so some people said let’s leave Iraq. The Anbarians were being ruled by Al Qaida in my dreams. And they asked us to smite them. I was happy to oblige. We ganged up and toppled the invisible government. Now everyone snitches out where the Al Qaidians are hiding.

And we burned their invisible flag. So now some people have jobs and some city councils are meeting. And that’s like succeedering.

[add remainder of speech]

TRANSLATION: I’ll bring some troops home in time for political advantage. Iraqi leaders want us to institutionalize their welfare checks. And if I say ‘a free Iraq’ enough times while clicking the heels of my ruby red slippers together, the flying monkeys will stop streaming out of my butt and terrorists and extremists (Democrats) will leave my oil alone. Which is in your best interest.

Gesundheit und gute Nacht.

For more: Truthdig adds the view of Anbar residents and US troops.

Barbara O’Brien brings on Paul Krugman and other media voices who follow the oil money and parse the latest Bush lexicon.

The policy should be dubbed The Hang Around Forever Larry Craig Stall. Because stalling and an endless litany of unreal excuses is all today’s elected Republicans know how to do.

And let us not forget that Bush brought thousands of terrorists to Iraq and ignited a civil war on the basis of faked intelligence about weapons that didn’t exist. All that ever existed was the oil. And you pay for that at the federal treasury and at the pump.

Taxation without representation…. that used to be enough to start a revolution against a corrupt King George.

And here’s the way we all should respond.