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October 3, 2007

I Laugh To Stop Myself From Crying

It seems the Republican’t National Committee is beating the dead horse once again:


[snip]

The RNC blast-emailed a solicitation to party members across the country a little while ago in the form of a letter from the incumbent president and nominal head of the party. “In just over 13 months, Americans go to the polls to elect the next President,” Bush writes in his “Dear Republican” letter. “We have an important mission: to keep the White House in 2008, and retake the U.S. House and Senate.”

Mission impossible? Bush doesn’t think so, although he acknowledges that fulfillment won’t come easy:

Next year, Chairman Mike Duncan and the Republican National Committee (RNC) will have the job of organizing our Party’s national grassroots campaign effort.

Mike and I both are counting on your support to help lead the Republican Party to sweeping victories in the 2008 elections.

We know it is grassroots activists like you who put up the yard signs, knock on the doors, make the phone calls and do what’s necessary to win and elect a Republican president and Congress.

And it is people like you who give generously to ensure our candidates have the resources needed to run effective campaigns and win. That is why I hope you will make a special online gift of $1,000, $500, $250, $100, $50, or $25 to keep the RNC’s 2008 election programs moving forward.

Winning the 2008 elections will be the toughest test our Party has faced since we won the White House and added to our numbers in both houses of Congress in 2004.

[snip]

UPDATE: Danny Diaz, RNC spokesman, explains the elision of 2006 this way: “It clearly speaks to the stakes of the upcoming election and the significance of maintaining control of the White House and electing Republicans up and down the ticket.” In other words (mine), for Republicans, the stakes of 2008 are higher than they were in 2006 because they stand to lose control of the White House as well as remain in the minority in the House and Senate. That makes sense. Diaz would never say this, but the GOP’s chances of retaining the White House, while daunting, are better than its chances of winning back either house of Congress.

But the best part is that they have sent variations of this email to (at least) a couple of bloggers possessing weapons-grade snark. Some brief samples:


From World O’Crap:
[snip]

Therefore, with no futher ado, allow me to present President George W. Bush’s email, but with all the BS removed:

Dear Republican’t,

During my six and a half years in office, you and I have worked together to advance the Republican Party’s principles to keep America safe, strengthen our economy, protect our values and extend the American Dream to every person who’s fortunate to be a citizen of our great country.

[snip]

Republicans have a solid record when it comes to protecting the United States of America.

After the enemy attacked us, I vowed I would rally this nation and use our resources to protect you. And that is exactly what we have done.

And we have been safe from tigers ever since he installed that special “no more tigers” rock in our front yard.

We have reformed our intelligence services to make sure we can find the enemy before they strike. We have fought to deny them safe haven in Afghanistan and Iraq so they cannot plan and plot again.

And that has worked out exactly how ….?

The fight for freedom in Iraq is the fight for the security of the United States of America and we must prevail. If we leave before the job is done, the enemy that attacked us would be emboldened.

Then why the hell didn’t we fight that enemy instead of going to Iraq? Are you TRYING to make me want to smack somebody, George?

[snip]

From Halfway There
The president insists on sending me mail. He can’t stop. I’m not sure exactly what I did to spark his obsession with me, but he keeps talking about our shared ideals and goals. If he keeps insulting me this way, I shall have to be curt with him. To date, I’ve contented myself with ignoring his ever more piteous pleas for attention. Today’s missive is a curious amalgam of mendacity and chest-beating. In other words, typical of his ghostwriters.

Dear Republican’t,

During my six and a half years in office, you and I have worked together to advance the Republican Party’s principles to keep America safe, strengthen our economy, protect our values and extend the American Dream to every person who’s fortunate to be a citizen of our great country.

Unless you live in New Orleans, of course. That “keep America safe” thing is working better, of course, what with the administration’s willingness to send Americans overseas to be killed. It’s not just about the oil, of course. That’s a vile slander. It’s all about plutocracy: no-bid contracts and no-oversight out-sourcing. That’s the Republican way.

[snip]

Next year, Chairman Mike Duncan and the Republican National Committee (RNC) will have the job of organizing our Party’s national grassroots campaign effort.

Mike and I both are counting on your support to help lead the Republican Party to sweeping victories in the 2008 elections.

Is that the same Mike Duncan who chaired the transition committee for Governor Ernie Fletcher of Kentucky? Boy, that was sure a successful transition! I presume Duncan carefully vetted all of those folks who went on to join one of the state’s most corrupt administrations ever. It was clever how Fletcher issued pardons to several members of his administration to forestall further investigations into the criminal abuse of Kentucky