Lebanon opts for modern Open Source Democracy
Hailing the new age availability of real election choices, the president of Lebanon stepped down and turned power over to the nation’s janitors and maintenance guys. At his exit, he declared “The age of dictators is dead. Long live designer democracies!”
His actions follow a recent string of successful designer democracies elsewhere, including:
- A democratically elected president of a capital city, with power distributed among co-equal warlords and an economy thriving on record opium harvests and the sale of dancers to gay pedophiles.
- A democratically elected dual theocracy of slackers who rule by agreeing on nothing while their economy thrives on oil sales and Aid to Dependent Arab socialism provided by the same foreign benefactors providing public and private security services.
- A democratically elected series of governments repeatedly forced into exile or house arrest to keep them safe from harm while a military leader fills in to assure everyone that he’s keeping the world safe from Osama, Bollywood, soccer players and lawyers. Also thriving on Aid to Dependent Arab socialism and sales of Nuclear Bomb Building For Dummies books.
- A democratically elected government that nobody but the voters recognize as a government, ruling territories that nobody - including the voters - recognizes as a country. With an economy thriving on Israeli instructions to pound sand.
- A democratically court ordered government necessitated by massive voter disenfranchisement and ballot count fraud followed by the victors relinquishing power via the use of partial recounts and insufficient or non-existent legal challenges. With an economy thriving on outsourcing, free trade, global borrowing and permanent warfare.
Update: Rumors about the secession of the Creationista government of Kansas and the Maui Wowie government of Hawaii have not yet been confirmed. Though both insisted they’d create a non-BCS government to achieve fair representation, it’s expected they’ll wait till the election results on Monday before taking action. Their economic model would be based on smoking wheat and hemp.
November 24th, 2007 at 4:35 pm
Kinda wish that Lebanon’s neighbors would just leave it alone. It used to be a lovely place, and a thriving economy.