TV Snide
Hey kids! You know how all the idiots pundits on tv are always calling John McLiebercain McCain Maverick? Well, I don’t know about you, but John McLiebercain McCain doesn’t conjure up in my mind pictures of a handsome, manly James Garner in tight pants and leather. In fact, the thought of John McLiebercain McCain in tight pants and lea…….
….Oh, my eyes are all watery. So sorry, where was I? Oh, yeah. Well, I was thinking of other tv shows that might suit Mr. McCain a bit better. First, I thought a nice light comedy would make John McLiebercain McCain a little less cranky….
Of course, that would mean recasting the role of Captain Tony Nelson. Hmmm, who could we get to stroke John McLiebercain McCain’s lamp faster and faster and faster until he pops? Oh! I know! 
Then again, that role might be a bit too taxing physically for a man of John McLiebercain McCain’s years. Maybe something that will be a bit nostalgic….
Oops, maybe those memories aren’t all that pleasant. Besides, to tell you the truth, I, for one, don’t want to see John McLiebercain McCain in charge of any armed forces. I hear he has a temper.
Let’s see….Hey! Some of his friends are on the Intelligence Committee! I bet they could give John McLiebercain McCain some pointers if he were was were was wants to take on this role….
What’s that? It’s just been suggested to me by the completely imaginary person reading over my shoulder that the long walk through all the doors and the drop from the telephone booth would probably break a 71-year-old’s hip. Better keep thinking.
Perhaps John McLiebercain McCain would like to surround himself with young people. I wonder….would you welcome Mac, Kotter?
Somehow I can’t see that ending any other way than John McLiebercain McCain yelling at them all to get off his lawn.
Well, I think there’s only one thing to do. It’s time to put John McLiebercain McCain out to pasture out on the farm. He can bring Cindy with him! I bet she’ll just love it there…..
(original DVD cover)
…especially after she meets that little pig, Arnold!
February 20th, 2008 at 4:28 am
What a way to start the day!
February 20th, 2008 at 7:16 am
I esp love the Green Acres. Cindy as Eva Gabor and the pig! So apt!
February 20th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
fearguth,
reading this crap is how you had to start your day? you poor thing. honey, i am gonna buy you a coffeemaker!
February 20th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
hey kevin,
how is that adorable little grandson of yours doing?
don’t john and cindy look natural in green acres? i really think it is a good idea to send them there. they can hire all those retiring rethugs as farm hands.
February 20th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
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February 20th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
I love all of these, nonnie, but I do especially love the Green Acres.
Is it just me, or is there a Stepford Wife quality to Cindy McCain? There’s something wrong with her, she doesn’t look normal. It’s as though the detox for all those stolen Vicodin didn’t really take hold. She always has that glazed look, like she’s high as a kite. I’ve seen heroin addicts that have just that look. Of course, if I was married to Captain Underpants, I’d have to dope up, too…..
February 20th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
that’s what i have been thinking, too, gotta. she definitely has that spacey look to her (and i don’t mean kevin spacey). it’s looks like her eyes are glazed over and her smile is cemented on her face. either she went way too far with the botox or the woman is stoned.
by the way, i think the stepford wives would be very insulted by being compared to something so plastic and mechanical.
p.s. there are not enough drugs in the universe that could possibly make me sleep with captain underpants.
February 20th, 2008 at 6:59 pm
Yes, you’re right. It is insulting to the Stepford Wives, and I apologize to any that may be roaming the landscape.
I’ve decided that Cindy should really have been married to the Mittster. What a perfectly plastic couple they would make….
February 20th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
gotta!!
i was thinking that same thing just this afternoon. cindy and mittsie could have gotten married and had mattel tattooed on their butts! they could live in barbie’s dreamhouse, and, with her money and his, they could have bought all the accessories!
February 20th, 2008 at 7:56 pm
Yeah, but they’d have a hard time strapping the dog to the top of the Barbie Dream Car. It’s a convertible! Maybe they could get Chuckleberry’s kids to dog-sit….
February 20th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
no problem, gotta. remember that the dog would be plastic, too.
i was just thinking what it is about cindy mccain. she always looks like she is going to break any moment. if she dares to stop smiling for even a moment, she is going to have a nervous breakdown.
February 20th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
Yes, there’s definitely something wrong there. There’s something fragile about her, and not in a good way. I wonder if living with Captain Underpants and his temper has damaged her in some way. She creeps me out for some reason and it’s not the way she looks, although that is creepy in and of itself. It’s like watching someone you know is going to go postal and wondering just when the moment will be…
February 20th, 2008 at 9:49 pm
she’s like a character in a cheesy jacqueline susann novel. heiress to a beer fortune, marries a man old enough to be her father after having an affair with him behind his crippled wife’s back. daddy helps him become a senator. the drugs, the scandal, even the adopted child. she’s on the edge. it’s like she’s stuck in someone else’s life.
February 20th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
nonnie, I don’t know where to begin! There are more, faster, and better gags here than in the best stand-up comedy routine I’ve ever seen! I think McCain’s Navy is my favorite, but it’s so hard to pick just one…
The first picture made me think of a slightly different flavor: I Dream of Rudy. Wouldn’t he be cute in that getup with the pixie slippers, pony tail, and fake lashes? In either case, thank goodness the censors have insisted he/she doesn’t show his/her belly button! It’s appealing to imagine we could get either one of them into the bottle and then just leave the cork in it. I digress…
I learned a lot tonight about McCain’s questionable military career. I’m ashamed to say that I had no idea… Thanks for the laughs and the education!
I’ll never be able to fathom how you come up with so many creative ideas day after day after day and then how you can find the time to bring them to life day after day after day. I am in awe.
February 20th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
thanks, nightowl,
rethug voters are so inconsiderate!
i really wish that it was rudy who was still in the race instead of mcleibercain. there were so many show that i could have used if it was rudy–bosom buddies, laverne and shirley, golden girls, blossom, etc.. sigh when i think of the outfits i could have put rudy in!
February 20th, 2008 at 10:13 pm
Well, you’re doing a terrific job snarking with the hand they dealt ya!