Democratic Candidates Vow To Battle For Nomination Through 2009
Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton today separately vowed that, regardless of the results of today’s now important Texas and Ohio primaries, they will not rest until one of them has been crowned the official Presidential nominee of the Democratic Party, “hopefully by the spring of 2009.”
“It is for the good of the party and the good of the nation that we select the right nominee,” said Clinton, ”even if it takes until next Easter.”
Barack Obama noted that the contest is “already over,” even before today’s votes are counted, because, as analysts have already shown, Clinton can never make up the delegate deficit, no matter how well she does. Nevertheless, Obama said that he would consider conceding the nomination to Clinton depending on the results of next year’s Superbowl. “If the Patriots lose again, I’m out,” he said.
Democrats are concerned that a prolonged battle for the nomination would endanger the party’s ability to win the general election. “Particularly if the fight goes past November 4,” said left-wing pundit Freddy Dreckler.
Civics Professor Norman Golan commented on the impasse. “Some say that only the Democrats could screw up the opportunity they have to take the Presidency this coming November,” he said. “But not many people realize that it only takes two of them to do it.”



March 4th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Democratic campaign tone turns ugly heading into today’s primaries…
SAN ANTONIO | Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton waged an increasingly bitter fight over trade policy…
March 5th, 2008 at 2:13 am
Behold, Thomas, thou hast the gift of prophecy!
March 5th, 2008 at 10:00 am
Yea, verily, I haveth the sight.
Pretty soon I’m going to go around healing people. Not big stuff, but I’m pretty sure I can clear up some acne.