I don’t know about you, kids, but I am sick of politics. When I want to get away from it all, I like to watch game shows. There are a few still on the air today, and even a couple of brand news ones. For example, Amnesia, hosted by that little war-loving Chimpy-kissing turd Dennis Miller. The show quizzes contestants on memories from their own lives for money and prizes.

That particular episode hasn’t aired yet, but I have heard that Gonzo Alberto Gonazles doesn’t do very well.

Wheel of Fortune has been on since 1975! Did you catch it the night when they had the contestants named Dick, Chimpy, and Scooter? It was very exciting!

Chimpy won the toss, so he went first. Well, he didn’t really win the toss, but he threw a little tantrum and held his breath until he turned blue, so they let him go first.

Uh-oh! Bankrupt! No wonder Chimpy looks so mad! Oh well, maybe he can try out for Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? next time.

Scooter was next. He didn’t guess the correct letter, but you can see that he is still smiling, because he got a free spin!

Next it was Dick’s turn, and as you can see from the screencap above that Pat Sajak was congratulating him, so you know he was the big winner! And no wonder……

Not only did he land on the jackpot, but he guessed the puzzle correctly without even having to buy a vowel!

Well, kids, the new shows and the ones that are old but are still going strong are fine. However, I miss some of the old shows that I watched when I was a little kid. I used to like to watch the reruns on Game Show Network, but those bastards at my cable provider, Comcast, took away that particular channel and replaced it with….nothing! So, when I am up in the middle of the night, I am left with cable news repeats or informercials. Luckily, I found some of the old video on the internets, and I got some screencaps for you. Anyone else remember The Dating Game? There were some famous people on, such as Michael Jackson, Andy Kaufman, and even the present Governor of Michigan, Jennifer Granholm. It sure came as a surprise to me, though, when I caught this particular episode:

Yep! That’s Captain Underpants John McCain courting (from left to right) Jerry Falwell, Rod Parsley, and John Hagee! I understand that he dated all three after the show.

Of course, if you are going to have a show about dating and finding true love, then you have to have its logical follow-up, The Newlywed Game. I remember watching when I was still a kid, with stories of happily-ever-after still bouncing around my brain and a hopeful sparkle in my eye that one day I would be a newlywed. I guess that’s why I was so confused when they started to have old couples on the show. I thought that only people in their 20’s were allowed to get married. What were those old people doing there? Here’s one example, though I am not sure how clearly you will be able to see it.

See the third couple? Let me see if I can enlarge that section and make it a bit clearer.

That’s better! By the way, I hear that they are still together! I guess there is a happily-ever-after after all!