The meat of the issue
Like most of you, I spent this past weekend with the door firmly latched, peeping from behind my blinds, and madly refreshing MichelleMalkin.com as I awaited a full scale invasion straight out of Red Dawn. Not only had The Left leaked its battle plans for the Reconquista, but they had garnered the corporate sponsorship of Absolut Vodka. George Soros must be on Absolut’s board of directors, because in addition to arming the swarthy, sinuous warriors of Aztlan, Absolut is also giving its backing to radical homosexual activists:
The vodka company that envisions an “Absolut” world in which Mexico regains the U.S. Southwest is now unveiling two new “lifestyle-driven” ads focused on homosexual men and their “members,” and same-sex couples.Calling itself the “preferred brand of vodka for gay and lesbian consumers,” the Absolut Spirits Co. says it’s targeting homosexuals for the first time with a campaign “embracing both the humorous and socially conscious.” …
One new ad, called “Ruler,” takes “a humorous look at gay men and their fascination with perfect, eight-inch ‘member’ measurements,” the company says.
The military strategist in me predicts that the nancies will execute a pincer-like maneuver from their coastal strongholds of San Francisco and Chelsea, effectively squeezing all of America into their one-piece foundation undergarment of oppression (”laces up the back — no bones!”). We are clearly building the border fence in the wrong place.
In the interests of burnishing my credentials as a citizen journalist, I felt compelled to visit the darkest recesses of the homosexual netherworld to get to the bottom of this cult-like devotion to abnormally large wangs. My findings are sure to shock you: Unless these hook-up sites are giving me a false data set, every homosexual man on the internets is slinging at least 8 inches, which leads me to believe that possessing such a gland is required for induction into their sinful lifestyle. And Absolut is there, ready to present them a 750 ml bottle of vodka once they cross that enchanted threshold. Parents, it is up to you to take a stand against the moral ruination being promoted by Absolut and their allies in the “gay” community, so serve your children Ketel One instead. Praise Him!
April 13th, 2008 at 6:25 am
Soldier on, Sister. You alone stand between our Blessed Nation and utter depravity.
I hope you have a pistola nestled beneath your rollers and gel.
Please accept the thanks of a grateful nation.