WHY SO FURIOUS?

I still don’t know how many houses the McCains own, not that I really give a flying fig, but the freakout is absolutely uproarious. It must be a big deal since Assrocket is calling it a “kerfluffle.” If Multiple House John already told Multiple Choice Mitt he would be the VP, this little Billionaire Boys Club team would be able to buy and sell mere millionaire Bruce Wayne. One way or another we all know deep down you don’t get filthy rich without rolling in dirty money.

Of course, since it’s Mark Halperin doing the reporting, it’s still suspect and there’s enough time for our nemesis to change his mind. I mean, it’s not like he hasn’t changed his position on just about every damn thing, why not switch his VP choice once or twice. Halperin will just have to delete this report like he erased his “reporting” on Dick Lugar as Obama’s number two. (As If…)

Naturally, McCain is excused for all his foibles because he was a POW. How dare anyone ask just how freaking rich he is. He was a POW. Don’t make fun of this old guy for his failing memory. He was a POW. Don’t question this over-the-hill playboy about his being bought and paid for by every lobbyist with an expense account. He was a POW.

How dare you bring up things like the Keating Five. That was decades ago, just like when he was a POW.

He cheated on his first wife who waited and worried and cried for five years for his return because this former model got fat and walked funny after her accident. That’s okay, he was a POW way before that happened.

He applied for a marriage license to his new millionaire trophy bride before his first marriage was over. But he wasn’t a bigamist creep, no. He was a POW.

Face it, if being a POW is the answer every time this curmudgeon screws up, maybe he’s too screwed up from being a POW to function competently as POTUS. Why on earth does he want so badly to be president anyway? How exactly does he want to make your life better or our government function like anything resembling the way it’s supposed to? Why bother rich wrinkly guy?

Here’s your answer, in his own words, caught on tape even.

“I didn’t decide to run for president to start a national crusade for the political reforms I believed in or to run a campaign as if it were some grand act of patriotism. In truth, I wanted to be president because it had become my ambition to be president. . . . In truth, I’d had the ambition for a long time.”

He wants to be my president because, well … he wants to, dammit. He thinks it would be cool. It’s not about you or me.

It’s about John McCain and his his own love affair with himself.

Sorry John. Wanting to be my president just because you think it’s your turn, that you paid your dues, that you want it really. really bad . . . Is. Not. Good. Enough.

In fact, by all the evidence, John McCain hardly deserves to be president. I’m frankly disgusted by his incompetence, whacky ideas, pandering, flaunting the very campaign laws he wrote, the syncophatic scoundrels speaking for him when he misspeaks, and his lifetime of moral failures from dis’ing MLK to cheating on both wives.

Above all, perhaps the greatest disqualifier for McCain’s ambition is his willingness to let his fellow vets live in filth when they come back broken from worthless wars he cheers about, basking in their glory and taking credit for their bravery.

I’m embarrassed for his supporters who signed on to the GOP brand, the party of Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt. How pathetic, how low they have sunk.

John McCain may be a prisoner of his own pride and hubris, but he is no longer a POW. He’s a POS. A Zero when we need a hero.