All Others Palin Comparison…
As a voice for Christian womanhood, I’ve been Rejoicing in John McCain’s selection of Sarah Palin ever since last Friday. While The Left tries to undermine her (and, by extension, John McCain’s) leadership credentials with baseless accusations of atrocious judgment, abuse of power, insufficient vetting, etc., ultimately their Clintonian politics of personal destruction will doom them to failure, since each Revelation can’t help but strengthen Conservative support for Our Lady of the Tundra. To wit:
Palin affiliated with fringe Alaskan secessionist movement: This is excellent news for Palin, as an independent Alaska can be more easily subdued once we invade it for its oil, rather than one armed with our own mighty American tanks and planes. Add Alaska to the Axis of Evil: It’ll be rice & rose petals all over again.
Teen pregnancy, the fruits of abstinence-only education: Glory be, could there possibly be a more Holy union than that of firearms and Traditional Values in your average shotgun wedding? In Bristol & Levi’s nuptials, we will finally experience the Sanctity of marriage as Our Heavenly King intended, particularly since it got overshadowed by all those angry lezbos at Jenna’s wedding. Way to appeal to the core constituencies of the base, Sarah — keep those barely legitimate grandbabies coming!
Tried firing librarian over objectionable books: My local public library is full of smelly perverts who spend all day looking at porn, and that’s just the people at the reference desk. How refreshing to see someone who is willing to stand up to those tyrants at the ALA and clean up these adult bookstores masquerading as civic institutions. Sarah gets it: “intellectual” “Freedom” is just some elitist plot to turn your child into a Yeats-quoting homosexual.
Pork princess: Who’s more deserving of your federal tax dollars — the hardworking Americans of Wassila, Alaska, who will be using their multi-million dollar rail line to engage in such Patriotic and character-building activities as hunting, fishing, and premarital sex, or the America-hating Blue State parasites who’ll squander that money on big-city amenities like “public transportation,” just so they can affirm their sense of moral superiority over the rest of us? I certainly know where I want my money to go. Thank you, Sarah, for being a source of fiscal prudence in this era of budgetary Treason.
Sarah truly is the gift that keeps giving, as every new disclosure reveals her to be what she truly is: a fitting heiress (of the non-dicksucking persuasion, naturally) to the Bush-Cheney legacy. If the current breakneck pace of news about her Devotion to the Conservative cause keeps up, she’s sure to lead us to victory. Praise Him!
September 3rd, 2008 at 1:16 am
GOP cites Palin’s skill, but how relevant is it?
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Wait, now, say the Republicans. You think that Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin lacks experience? You think t…
September 3rd, 2008 at 7:54 am
With so much focus on Palin, we are losing sight that the GOP convention really is a slow moving train wreck. THe passengers seem to know it as well, They stand and dutifully applaud when Fred coughs or Holy Joe bobs his head about but it’s the same kind of applause given to a totally syncopated third grade tap dancer where only the parents are dismally smiling.
The guts and bravery of these passengers is astounding: They are staying with the ride even though the precipice is but a day and a half away. Geez, I hope the’ve stockpiled those purple heart bandaids for not only have they earned them, they are going to need them!
September 5th, 2008 at 9:42 am
At last–someone who can appreciate the Queen of Tough Tundra Love.
The Republicans have framed the issues–it’s all about the people who have accomplished the wonders you have listed above, not some silly prattle about issues.