BREAKING: Michigan - 9:41AM

Well, the deed is done - at least, for me for this year.

My roommate and I made it to our designated voting station just before 6AM - an hour before the voting booths were to be opened. We were among the first dozen to line up. But I haven’t seen anything like this in any of the elections I have voted in so far - the lineup was huge. When they finally opened the polls, there were hundreds of people in line. The last two times I voted here, I got to the polling station shortly before 7AM, and I was still among the first few to vote.

People waiting to vote at 6:45AM this morning

Most of the people around me were excited about voting, and had come prepared for a long wait. The McSenile supporters did not seem to be nearly as happy about the situation; a lot of them seemed to sense that the vast majority of people voting were Obama supporters. And, surprisingly, I did not see any Republican’t poll watchers challenging voters. Maybe they’re not all that into showing up early, and will try some shenanigans later on. But everything I’ve seen so far today is pointing to a Democratic blowout this year. Hopefully I’ll still feel this good this time tomorrow…

Posted by T M at the Funny Farm

BREAKING: Dixville Notch, NH, 10:10am EST

This Is Of Course Good News For Hillary Clinton

Despite entrance polling that showed a surprising groundswell of support for Ron Paul and an investigation by the New Hampshire Attorney General into the voter registration activities of ACORN volunteers at a local pre-school, the people of this tiny hamlet so far north the Mayor can see Canada from his house have voted overwhelmingly for Barack Obama by a 70% margin.

A last minute appeal to the Supreme Court to keep the polling center open for more than three minutes was denied and the results of the election were announced despite the protest of the village’s one and only minority voter who claimed discrimination in the process was unfair to Native Americans. Erik “The Short” Palin, half-brother of the “First Dude” of Alaska who claims Eskimo ancestry was hoping to be the first (non-early) voter for his Sister-In-Law in the “Lower 48″ (Guam opened it’s polls 7 hours earlier, closed polling at 5am EST, and shows Obama winning 62%, McCain 37%, Barr 1%).

Unfortunately, the lesser known Palin brother was unable to properly reset his alarm clock from Daylight Saving Time on Sunday like the rest of the country and showed up ten hours late to the polling center. He was given a provisional ballot instead which was immediately challenged by Democratic Party lawyers.

Posted by Mark Adams, Senior Illegal Correspondent
Dispassionate Liberal

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BREAKING: Toledo, OH, 12:20am EST

Toledo Braces For Unruly Mobs

The Toledo Blade reports that Police Chief Mike Navarre has no reason whatsoever for instructing officers to carry riot gear on Tuesday and Wednesday.

Unlike the the Halloween disaster when hoards of masked youth harassed area residents for candy on Friday, Navarre wants the police force to “be prepared” and to “keep an eye on things” despite there being “no specific information about potential civil unrest in Toledo” and no plans to schedule additional officers to work during this election day and evening.

Hopefully this type of vigilance will prevent any more incidents of lawless driving by fake plumbers riding their fifteeen minutes for all they’re worth. I know I feel safer already now that, you know, the cops are finally keeping an eye on things — and are ready to go all Rodney King on anyone who doesn’t look like a middle-aged skinhead with the temerity to litter.

Hillary Clinton’s spokeswoman would not confirm that this was good news for the New York Senator.

Posted by Mark Adams, Senior Illegal Correspondent
Dispassionate Liberal

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